Resurrection
by FallingRain22
Summary: Did Terra really forget everything? Or was it a hoax to get the Titans off her back?
1. Prologue

_"The girl that you want me to be is just a memory."_

I turn away from Beast Boy's face, squeezing the book tightly to my chest. I couldn't bear to look at him, to see the confusion and hurt I knew would be there. I close my eyes and hear Robin's voice come over the communicator.

"Come in Beast Boy! We need your help!" I tense, sensing Beast Boy's approach.

"Come with me," he says, and I can hear the pleading in his voice. I hug the book tighter to my chest, then let my arms fall down to my sides. I shake my head.

"You go. You're the Teen Titan. That's who _you_ are." I pause. "That's not me. I'm not a hero. I don't save the world." I can feel the tears threatening to rise and know that I have to leave before he sees. I try to distract myself. "I'm just a girl with a geometry test next period and I haven't studied." I look into Beast Boy's eyes, steeling myself, and back away into the crowd as the bell rings. I see him watching after me, then say something into the communicator before running off.

And I know that I will never see him again. I will never see the best friend I ever had again. I take a deep breath and lean against the wall. And I promise that I will never allow myself to remember, ever again. But I allow myself one last thought.

 _I'm sorry, Beast Boy._

 **Author's Note:** _This is something I've wanted to see for awhile. The story will have scenes from RPs I've done, which inspired this story. It's a writing practice story and I'm still trying to figure out how to link it all together. Stay tuned! I promise not all chapters will be this short :p_


	2. Chapter 1: Reflections and Memories

Despite my best efforts, my thoughts kept slipping to Beast Boy. I turn in my geometry test, knowing full well that I most likely failed it, and return to my desk where I will now sit for half an hour and think about nothing. But my thoughts drift into the territory I had forbidden them to go. I sigh and lay my head on the desk. Everything was going fine until BB showed up again. I had almost forgotten everything. I have new friends and a new life. But I can't forget...

After school gets out, I walk down back alleys to avoid any possible contact with the Titans and try to figure out where to stay for the night. My backpack is surprisingly light today and I smile a little at that. I think of calling Jenny, one of my friends from Murakami High. She might let me stay at her place for the night. I take out the phone that I had, admittedly, stolen when I first returned. I wait, standing in the shadows, as the phone rings. Thankfully she picks up.

"Hey Tara!" She greets, her voice lighthearted. I relax when I hear my new name, realizing how stressful being called "Terra" with that meaning again was.

"Hey, Jenny," I reply, somewhat less happily. Then I remember that I need to sound excited. "I was wondering if it would be possible for me to spend the night?" I hear a sigh from her end.

"I'm so sorry, I would love to Tara, but my parents are having company over and-"

"I understand." I lean back against the building, slightly disappointed. "I'll see you tomorrow." I hang up and let out a sigh myself. "Well there goes that idea," I mutter. I shoulder my backpack and allow myself to walk aimlessly, wherever my feet may carry me. I stare down at the ground, remembering the feeling of power coursing through me and lifting the eart-

"Come on Tara, cut it out!" I interrupt myself. "You know that you can't think about that." Head and shoulders down, I keep walking. My feet carry me past all the places I'd been with the Titans. Just like when I was working for Slade and patrolling the cit-

"SHUT UP!" I yell at myself, finally glaring away from the ground. I gasp when I realize where I am, backing up in horror. "The fair..."

The fair that Beast Boy and I had our first "date." The fair where we almost kissed. The fair where Slade found me. The fair where Beast Boy learned my secret. The fair where he turned away from me. The fair where I turned away from my friends.

"They aren't your friends anymore," I mumble to myself, walking through the wreckage of the rollercoaster. "What happened here? What could knock down an entire rollercoaster?" I freeze at a familiar sight. A sight I had shut out of my mind for months. _Slade's mask_. I stumble and run in the opposite direction, straight into the House of Mirrors. Where Beast Boy rejected me...anger begins to build inside, but also a pang of sadness. "I don't blame him. What I did was terrible. So terrible that I want nothing more than to just forget about it already." The tears from earlier come spilling down my cheeks and I collapse onto the ground.

"I JUST WANT TO FORGET! I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT GIRL ANYMORE!" I scream, sobbing into the dirt. I can feel the old power, suppressed for the last several months, rising to my finger tips. My hair begins to rise. "I DON'T WANT TO BE TERRA. I WANT TO BE GOOD, I WANT TO BE _NORMAL!_ " My cries echo around me, bouncing off the mirrors. I wipe the tears from my eyes and stand. I look up into the broken mirrors and feel my heart stop. Reflections of my past stare back at me. First, unbridled Terra, free Terra, Titans' friend Terra. Then I see apprentice Terra, powerful Terra, Titans' enemy Terra. Cold blood runs through my veins as I look between them and they look at me. I cannot escape my past. Defeated, tired, and utterly broken, I collapse onto the ground again and the world turns black.

I blink awake and moan, sitting up and rubbing my head. I remember where I am and sigh. I stand up, brushing the dirt off of myself, and grab my backpack dejectedly. I make my way out of the House of Mirrors and find myself under the cool night sky. Shivering, I hug myself for warmth and keep my eyes cast on the ground. I hadn't felt so miserable in a long time. I sit down on the pier and gaze into the black water of the sea.

"How could I ever have thought I could just forget?" I sigh, resting my chin on my hand. I pull out my homework and begin to work on it half-heartedly in hopes of distracting myself. I sludge through the chemistry equations and read some pages from _Heart of Darkness_ for literature. When I finish, I barely remember what I just read but I'm not interested in doing it again.

"Funny that I can forget that so easily." I put the school supplies back in my bag and stand, my blue eyes sadly scanning the beautiful constellations above. Again, my mind drifts to my date with Beast Boy the night that I betrayed the Titans. I remember looking up at these same stars, smiling and feeling that I had gotten one thing right. Though I have many great memories with the Titans, Beast Boy was in all of those memories and more. It broke my heart to turn away from him. But I knew then, and I still know now, that I cannot be the Terra he wants me to be. I have changed far too much.

I purposely became the opposite of who I had been in hopes that I could avoid triggering memories. I never paused to consider that it would break me as a person...  
I sigh again and hesitantly levitate a rock. I skip it across the water, the familiar sense of power calming me. But I can't be Terra anymore. I can't use my powers and I can't think about these things, despite how hard it is to forget them. My life is different. I'm different. With a heavy heart, I come to the conclusion that I must find someone who can help me forget. Someone to...erase my memories completely. I picture Beast Boy's face again. The pain that rips through my chest is unbearable.

 _Why did he have to show up and remind me of everything? Things were going perfectly until he found me. I was getting better at forgetting Terra and better at being Tara. I was getting friends and making a new life for myself. I was getting closer to figuring out why I was brought back from stone in the first place._

I turned my gaze to Titans' Tower.

"Perhaps I have to answer some questions to satisfy my mind. Then I won't be plagued by these thoughts and memories." So I put on my backpack and levitate a large piece of earth to ride on. Out of breath, I realize that I'm a bit out of practice. But I hop onto the floating rock and direct it towards the Tower, thinking about what I will say to the Titans, and hoping that they will not convince me to stay.


End file.
